State Trying To Pursue Sperm Donor For Child Support

A man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple so they could have a child he relinquished all parental rights, including financial responsibility for the child. The parents have now filed for state assistance and the state wants him to pay child support. The couple broke up but still co-parent their 8 children that range from 3 months to 25 years. The state demanded to know the donor's name when they filed for help because they want him to pay child support.

What are your thoughts on this case? Should the man support the child when he donated his sperm? What do you think this would do for those who just donate but have given up their rights?

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Permalink Reply by tender on January 7, 2013 at 8:49am

yes and we do but i do not work i stay at home and raise our child because that is what is best for us. So her family could still take me to court and say i can not provide for him and they could (although we have more than enough insurance to make sure we are housed comfortably and he can go to college ) . Just the way the law is right now...

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Permalink Reply by Kelly on January 7, 2013 at 3:20pm

I certainly hope Florida (and so many other states) realize that in 2013, people should be able to marry whoever they want and be afforded the security that marriage offers in cases like yours. Ugh, I can see why you would worry. Hmmm, I wonder though, if you got married in another state, wouldn't Florida have to recognize that marriage?

FL law is also waaay behind the times on paternity law. most people think that being on the birth certificate is enough for a father in the case of unmarried couples - sadly not true. I worked for DCF for years, and there were cases where children were removed from mothers and had perfectly appropriate fathers PRESENT and begging to take the kids, but the court doesn't recognize them without that DNA test or paternity affidavit. Kids were placed into foster care rather than given to an appropriate, biological parent due to ridiculous law. Saw a lot of ugly issues with men who fathered children with women who happened to still be legally married to someone other than them - they have no rights whatsoever until the husband (even if he lives in some other country and hasn't SEEN his legal wife for 10 years) relinquishes his rights. A friend of mine has been fighting for rights to his daughter for 3 years now, and the mother is a spiteful POS who, despite having pending divorce papers claiming her husband returned to Mexico and she ceased contact with him 3 years prior to this child's birth, is hiding behind this "legal father" BS just to stop him from having contact with the kid. It's a sad state of affairs. Seriously time for some statute updates! Or scrap 'em all and start over.

tender said:

well I am female so it wouldn't do any good for us to go to the court house. It was illegal for me to be put on the birth certificate at the hospital. As for biological parents the male can be added to the birth certificate if the parents are married or not at the hospital. If the mother refuses the father can go to court and have a dna done and get his parental rights there.If something happens to the mother the biological father (even if he isnt on the birth certificate) can go to court and get his kid with a simple DNA test. Marriage has nothing to do with parental rights.

Florida law will not allow same sex couples to become married thus we can not adopt the children our significant other carried and gave birth to (sounds like bull shit sense we have been together 8 yrs live like a married couple and raise a child like one!) . because Florida law does not have second parent adoption . only step parent adoption and you have to be married in the state of Florida to do a step parent adoption . They also will not allow us to simply be added to the birth certificate at birth . So yeah i will sit and worry .

Kelly said:

if he's biologically yours, all you have to do is go down to the courthouse with the child's mother and sign an Affadavit of Paternity; this will establish you as the legal father in the event that something happens to her and guarantee your parental rights. Lots of states offer this option in the hospitals now, since so many folks AREN'T married, but it would seem Florida is behind the times on this one.

tender said:

oh i agree he shouldnt be but that is the way the law is set up ... every day I wait at home holding my breath hoping my better half gets home safe from work because i have no legal claim to our son... trust me it SUCKS! knowing at any min something can happen to her and her family could be &&*#* and walk in and take him and there is nothing i can do!

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Permalink Reply by tender on January 7, 2013 at 3:27pm

unfortunately neither Florida nor the united states government would recognize our marriage even if it was legal in another state.. BUT the good news (at least we are praying it will be good ) the United States Supreme Court will be hearing two cases in March on Same sex marriage. One of which is DOMA The Defense of Marriage Act . Which is what bares couples from getting federal recognition and benefits of their marriage and is what allows states to ignore same sex marriages preformed in another state. The other case is California proposition 8 which made same sex marriage illegal in California after it was legal.

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Permalink Reply by Kelly on January 9, 2013 at 5:25pm

I'm a huge supporter of marriage equality; I'll be following these cases and hoping the government sees the light. :)

tender said:

unfortunately neither Florida nor the united states government would recognize our marriage even if it was legal in another state.. BUT the good news (at least we are praying it will be good ) the United States Supreme Court will be hearing two cases in March on Same sex marriage. One of which is DOMA The Defense of Marriage Act . Which is what bares couples from getting federal recognition and benefits of their marriage and is what allows states to ignore same sex marriages preformed in another state. The other case is California proposition 8 which made same sex marriage illegal in California after it was legal.