What To Do When Mom Says Yes and the Teacher Says No

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by JoeysMom on March 28, 2012 at 8:28am

I'm sorry...and I'm not trying to start an argument at all but the fact that she is an honor roll student and safety patrol guard does NOT mean she doesn't have to follow the same rules as the other students.  In my opinion, it means she should be held to a higher standard because she is such a great example for others (especially since she's been given some authority as part of the safety patrol). 

 

Having pink hair really means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life...however, if the school handbook says no pink hair or no cell phones or no chewing gum, then those rules need to be obeyed whether you like them or not.  I don't like that my 6 year old has to wear a belt every single day...it's hard for him to get off when he has to use the bathroom...but he does it because I choose to send him to a school that requires it.  And, I certainly wouldn't go against it and put him in the middle of the "I don't like it, I'm your mom, and they can't make me do it" fight.  Now, before you yell at me, I'm not directing this to you...just using your childs situation as an example.  Personally, I don't care what color hair she has as it has no affect on me or my son. :)

2girlsmom said:

BTW she is an honor roll student on the safety patrol etc.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by 2girlsmom on March 28, 2012 at 8:32am

My daughter is an honor roll student on the safety patrol etc so if I feel like putting pink hi-lites in her hair I'll do it. Luckily she is no longer in a school that is so close minded. She goes to a school now that encourages individuallity. For the most part I support the school and its rules however, when you tell my daughter who was in first grade at the time that she has to do math on the internet and I don't allow my child at that age to go on the internet I will say something about it and yes, I went over that teachers head. I feel that kids need to learn how to do math in their heads or using their fingers and toes before using the internet to do it for them. Now that she is older she is allowed to do more on the computer but it is my house my rules and you know what she can do math without a calcualtor or computer. She gets the highest scores in her school on the FCAT etc. So having a few pink-reddish hi-lites apparently didn't screw up her mind nor her learning ability.

Also your remark about people with piercings and coloured hair is wrong. I know more that a few peole with tats, piercings, and hair colour that have professional well pay jobs. One friend is an attorney and has piercing and tats, Amazing what a suit covers up in court but at the office you ca see them :) another worked for FPL (florida power and light) as a computer programmer for years now works for amazon. another is a radiologist, another is a RN oh one is a oh no gasp she's a teacher (her hair is kinda orange cause she insists on doing it herself lol) I could keep going on and on. And me yeah, I have tats no piercing except for ears. Have a thing about a needle that looks like a fishing hook taking a chunk of shik out of me lol Yeah, not only am I a cosmetologist I only work doing that for select clients anymore but I've worked at a CPA firm for years now. So times have changed more and more companies aren't as judemental and look at the person ability not their hair color. oh yeah and most of us who had multy colored hair quit doing it as we get older. Its to hard to maintain lol.

Fran said:

Parents walk a fine line between supporting their children when a school or a teacher seeks to impose rules that may or may not be unreasonable (depending on the circumstances), & encouraging their children to defy authority regardless of the circumstances. As a teacher/former administrator, I've observed that the most successful students were those whose parents supported the school's rules & expectations, even if the child raised a fuss. The kids who failed were usually those whose parents leapt to their defense in every dispute with the school (or other authority). These were almost always the same parents who were later astonished when their children were arrested for theft, drug dealing, battery, etc. - "MY child would NEVER commit a crime."

The great thing about school is that it's our children's opportunity to learn to follow the rules, whether or not they agree w/them. If they don't follow the rules while they're in school, the penalties are usually minimal - maybe extra classwork or ISS. Down the road, when they get to the "real" world, the penalties vary. At best, unless she's got both the talent & work ethic of Lady Gaga, someone who wants to go to work with pink hair & multiple piercings is probably going to be lucky to get a job that pays minimum wage. People who want to skip work & sleep in, who want to text their friends instead of doing their job, who get distracted by Facebook when their boss gives them work to do online, will probably not have a job at all. And people whose parents make excuses for their bad behavior almost always end up in jail. 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by 2girlsmom on March 28, 2012 at 8:39am

2girlsmom said:

Sorry tired to do this all in one post but now they have a word limit... 

Also if it wasn't for people standing up to authority we would still be under British rule, we would still have slavery, women would still not be allowed to vote, segregation would still be going strong, handicapped people would still be in a locked room etc. These things all changed BECAUSE SOMEONE STOOD UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN AND CHALLENGE AUTHORITY!!!!!!

Plus there is a big difference between getting into fights back talking, cursing etc and having some hi-llites in your hair. I have yet to meet someone end up in jail just based on the fact that they had colour in their hair. My point is I would be more concerned with those that are causing all sort of choas and trouble in the school that someone who put hi-lites in their hair or the kid has a mohawk etc. Someones hair doesn't make his or her learning ability.

I do agree about the FB at work thing though I think that is why some employers have the tracker thing on computers to make sure employees are not spending their whole afternoon on FB.

Fran said:

Parents walk a fine line between supporting their children when a school or a teacher seeks to impose rules that may or may not be unreasonable (depending on the circumstances), & encouraging their children to defy authority regardless of the circumstances. As a teacher/former administrator, I've observed that the most successful students were those whose parents supported the school's rules & expectations, even if the child raised a fuss. The kids who failed were usually those whose parents leapt to their defense in every dispute with the school (or other authority). These were almost always the same parents who were later astonished when their children were arrested for theft, drug dealing, battery, etc. - "MY child would NEVER commit a crime."

The great thing about school is that it's our children's opportunity to learn to follow the rules, whether or not they agree w/them. If they don't follow the rules while they're in school, the penalties are usually minimal - maybe extra classwork or ISS. Down the road, when they get to the "real" world, the penalties vary. At best, unless she's got both the talent & work ethic of Lady Gaga, someone who wants to go to work with pink hair & multiple piercings is probably going to be lucky to get a job that pays minimum wage. People who want to skip work & sleep in, who want to text their friends instead of doing their job, who get distracted by Facebook when their boss gives them work to do online, will probably not have a job at all. And people whose parents make excuses for their bad behavior almost always end up in jail. 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by J Anderson on March 28, 2012 at 4:55pm

So.... in short it's okay to break the rules if you think they are wrong??? Make sure you know the consequences before hand.

 I think it would be worth a parent's time to speak out about the student handbook at your school now for next year. The rules are not made up everyday to suit each situation. Talk to the parent organization at the school about giving your input. They can direct you who to talk to be it school administration or district administration.

 

If I had either visible tatoos or piercings, I would not expect to be promoted beyond a certain point due to appearing"professional".

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Fran on March 28, 2012 at 7:16pm

Having practiced law in a conservative jurisdiction for many years, I can assure you that you do yourself no favors as a party to the proceedings (either plaintiff or defendant) by coming to court with multicolored hair, multiple visible piercings/tattoos, etc. I actually saw a DUI defendant show up in court wearing a "Budweiser" tee shirt. He made a statement, for sure: "Guilty."

Self-expression is your right as an adult, but if your daughter (or son) shows up at a job interview with pink streaks in her/his hair, pierced nostrils, shaved eyebrows/hair, etc., she/he has no right to complain if the job goes to someone dressed more professionally. Kids whine, "They shouldn't judge me by my appearance!" But the fact is, when you show up looking like that, you're making a statement - & that statement is, "I don't follow rules, I don't care about anyone else's opinions, all I care about is ME ME ME ME ME."  If that's the message you want your child to learn from you, I hope you've got a good job with a lifetime income & a solid retirement plan, b/c you'll probably be supporting that child for a long time.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pat Carter on March 30, 2012 at 1:49am

Wow.  The parents of the pink haired child definitely need to respect the rules of the school.  School is not a democracy.  If they don't like the rules then they can home school. I would think the other child had a clue when his mom was going to call, granted, I hope they let him finish the phone call, but maybe, next time, the teacher can be made aware of such calls.

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page